Fear.

I've been stewing on the concept of 'fear' and I've trying to categorise it but this has proved a challenging feat. For example, I have a fear of mice and rats. Rationally, I am several times larger and stronger than any of those creatures, so my instinct is to categorise that particular shortcoming as irrational. However, to do that is to discount context. For example, as a child, I was frequently told that mice and rats harbour disease and were key agents in the spreading of the plague. Given this context, my fear of rodents is actually a fear of ailment and ultimately death, which sounds a tad more rational.

This string of nonsense led to me reclassify fear, opting for 'tangible' and 'intangible', labels that account for physical and abstract ideas. After the reclassification, I found that most, if not all my fears lie within the remit of the intangibles, those slightly complex and abstract ideas, like death and humiliation.

Such a disappointment to realise that I have an aversion to concepts that my mind should be able to tame.

Maybe you should try it. List your fears and see which are tangible and which are intangible.

- I write in order to avoid talking, for you see as a human, I suck at talking.

Location:The staff room.

Things I learnt this week (the Steve Jobs edition).

I’ve spent the lion share of the morning reading various obituaries and editorials on the life and exceptional contributions of Steve Jobs and have learned the following things:

1) Follow your passion and interests. Steve was a lover of all things electronic and found a mentor in one of his neighbour. His passions led him to have a conversation William Hewlett, co-founder of Hewlett-Packard during his early years about a missing component from one of their products.

2) Do what you feel to be right, not what others tell you is right. Steve dropped out of university. He saw that the cost of the tuition was eating away at his parents savings accounts and didn’t believe that to be the best use of their nest-egg. I’m sure Steve’s parents and his fellow classmates would have loved him to continue to study and aim for Cum Laude graduation status but instead, he decided to invest in himself and his ideas.

3) Defeat is a passing phase, not a static state. Before Steve Jobs made the iPod and its various mutations, he was responsible for a few commercial flops, notably, the ‘Lisa’ desktop computer.

4) Belief and vision are priceless. Steve bought a computer graphic and animations company from George Lucas, believing that the company’s creative output would be a staple of modern cinema. After years of nurturing and support, the group became what is now known as Pixar Animation Studios who released their first film, Toy Story, in 1995, raking in some £362 million in box office receipts.

5) Legacy is inevitable. Whether you are a pauper, a prisoner or responsible for one of the biggest evolutions in consumer electronics, you will leave a collection of people and places that hold memories of you.

The age of the unimpressed.

I think we are all slightly ungrateful and worse still, are becoming harder to impress. Like most, I was glued to the Apple keynote speech last night. The majority of it was just a re-hash of the iOS 5 features with a few new additions, such as Cards – Apple’s attempts at usurping Moonpig and Find my Friends, an app that allows you to track friends and family for a period of time - which pretty much buys into the hypotheses of many a dead science fiction writer.




Of course the main  event was the announcement of the iPhone 4S. I have spoken to a few tech-savvy individuals and a few laymen and both parties are deeply unimpressed and somewhat saddened by the product and are all too happy to post their disillusionment on various blogs and feeds. Somehow, being given shiny new everythings on a regular basis has turned us into spoilt lemmings with a diminishing capacity to be wowed.



Cosmetically, the new iPhone is almost identical to the current iPhone 4 model but the guts of the new handset are impressive and should not be so easily dismissed. It boasts a dual-core processor – DUAL CORE! I work in offices where staff routinely use computers/laptops that run on Pentium 3 or 4 chips. Remember those? Of course you don’t they were at the forefront of technology back in 2002.



I guess the reactions to the iPhone 4S reminds me of the individual who watches porn online but vents fury when the word ‘buffering’ appears and stops them mid pleasure – somewhere along the lines, perspective and appreciation of technology has been replaced with an over-inflated sense of instant gratification.

Tuesday (no winners).

A colleague rang the office this morning to say that she was running late. Turns out that the reason for her lateness was a discarded child she had found by the roadside. Actually, the term "child" is adds years to this human life; it was an infant, a newborn, left by the side of the road.

You can predict the comments that would soon be flung raucously between the varying professionals or the general public; “this kind of lack of responsibility is endemic today”, “I bet she was a young Mum- they have no idea what there were doing”. All judgement, very little compassion.

I feel for the infant; laying in a basket, in some urine-soaked bus shelter but my mind does wonder what the parent/s must be thinking, what level of despair and confusion managed to inform and justify their actions. Social services, the Police and all the other state regulators that come under the term "multi-agency" have been informed and are on their way to have their first of many interactions with the newborn.

Half-mast.

I lost a bet today. A gamble I believed I could win, chips stacked in my favour, a mere transaction was how I saw the situation. But as it turns out, I over estimated my bluffing capabilities.

Being on the wrong side of victory provides a vista populated with deceased dreams and the rotting stench of over-ambition, while your pride flies at half-mast.

At least I can find consolation in... no, I won't finish that mediocre sentiment.





- I write in order to avoid talking, for you see as a human, I suck at talking.

Location:Indebted

Three things I learnt this week.

1) Be knowledgeable of the things to which you attach your self-esteem and self-worth.

2) In every situation, one must ask "am I an asset or a liability." Doing this over an extended period of time, will reveal traits of your character that you would normally gloss over. Ruminate on your findings.

3) Participating in a chorus of 'The Wheels on The Bus', with a group of three year olds, a group who are nothing more than several pounds of impulses and SMA formula, is a humbling and energising experience.


- I write in order to avoid talking, for you see as a human, I suck at talking.

Location:East of Eden.

Reading.

I've been engrossed in literature of late. Two novels, alike in dystopian value.




Kingdom Come is well-written and it's dramatisation of consumerism is astute. The Stepford Wives is entrancing and paints a chilling view of suburban life and it's perceived idyllic existence.



- I write in order to avoid talking, for you see as a human, I suck at talking.

Location:A world of words.