I have a tendency to act like an ass. A colossal ass. I can't help it, it's the result of my inability to complete thoughts before acting coupled with a lack of fundamental understanding of the consequence paradigm. Whenever I behave in such a manner, my mind instantly creates a back story for my actions - a flamboyant and fictitious work of art so full of inaccurate facts and hyperbole that it warrants a place on the cover of some tabloid.
I think the reason my mind does this is because it hold a certain image of me, an ideal K, and whenever I behave in a way that contradicts this ideal, my mind becomes dumbfounded and in order for the ideal to be preserved and to avoid my mind entering a state of implosion, a world of tales is created. My mind appears to have an undeserving delusion of grandeur. Unhealthy? I think so.
The ideal K, like all ideals, is nothing more than a projection of hopes and a rummage through the possibilities of a situation. Nice. However the downfall stems from knowing that you are several thousand leagues below this ideal and it is that inescapable truth that my reality confirms but my mind cannot compute.
- I write in order to avoid talking, for you see as a human, I suck at talking.
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